Boundaries & healthy communication in relationships
One of the hardest things on my own healing journey has been around the topic of boundaries and having the courage to communicate how I feel in relationship with others.
That was until I did the work to understand my relationship with boundaries, which for me were very porous until I began doing the work on myself to improve my own inner narrative.
Despite what most people think, boundaries are not a way of keeping people out, or pushing them away.
Boundaries are a form of communication that allows one person to say to another, “I have this need, and I am going to clearly and kindly express that need and extend an invitation to you to help me meet that need so that this relationship can feel good for both of us.”
Yet, despite the good intentions behind boundary setting (we’re basically saying to someone, “I’m willing to let myself be uncomfortable so that I can keep you in my life”) boundaries are uncomfortable for many of us because;
We fear conflict
We are unable to self soothe in moments of discomfort
We’ve been taught to put the needs of others above our own
We have a fear of abandonment
But do you know what’s also uncomfortable…
Feeling resentful in a relationship
Leaving a conversation thinking “I should have said / done this”
Feeling energetically drained, burned out, anxious / dreading an interaction
Feeling like you can only show up in a certain way
Leaving an engagement not liking who you are when you’re with them
From working with others, and through my own healing journey, I’ve realised that our ability to set and maintain boundaries also comes back to how we feel about ourselves.
The more comfortable you become looking inward, and saying, “I have a need, my needs are worthy, they have value, my comfort is just as important as other people’s”, the more your life and relationships will thrive.
If you’d like to learn more about; how to turn down the volume on your inner negative narrative, to build confidence and self-belief, to reset your nervous system and create stronger boundaries that protect your sensitive nature so that you’re free to focus on pursuing a life and career that lights you up, schedule a free 15-minute chemistry call to discover how we can work together through coaching to help you to build stronger inner foundations.
